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Is it better to show fake sympathy to maintain a good atmosphere?

I'm at a point where I can't eat with my colleagues anymore. All they talk about is gossip or bad-mouthing the bosses. The bad-mouthing often turns out to be false later on, like a few days or weeks later.

I don't like their gossip because they tend to be slanderous towards former colleagues or condescending towards their targets.

I'm more of a discreet person. I only engage in conversations when I know it's something interesting or where others can learn something; otherwise, I keep my thoughts to myself.

Initially, I tried to be part of the team. However, as time passed and I stopped taking breaks with them, they started excluding me from discussions. For example, they created a Slack channel to chat among themselves without including me. When I had to take a break due to a health problem, nobody asked how I felt when I returned, nor did anyone inquire about what happened.

As a result, I've isolated myself. This isolation leads me into a negative loop where I feel like I'm not part of the team, and they respond by looking at me angrily or giving me cold silences when I enter a room.

I need to stay in this job due to financial difficulties, but I'm actively looking for another job. In the meantime, how should I behave? Should I continue trying to fit in with them, even though it drains me and might not be sustainable, just for a slightly better environment? Or should I focus solely on my job and wait for another opportunity? Is there something else I haven't considered?

I appreciate any insights you might have.

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  • I think it's a bit aggressive to put it this way, although that's the kind of thing i've done in the past. It only makes them goes into a defensive mode, and they take you for an upset person that can't control his emotions. But asking if they have anything good to say or at least change topics to positives ones might be a good approach. As i said though i'm shy and don't have actually a lot to talk about by myself
    – BromBoy
    Commented Jun 28 at 11:47
  • Right. But the irony that they accuse you of not controlling your emotions...
    – Happy Idiot
    Commented 12 hours ago

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